Funny Wine Quotes

Keep Reading for Funny Wine Quotes

You might think of us as snobby, pinky-raising wine drinkers. Au contraire!

The wine community is a very funny and irreverent one. If you’ve had a tough day and need a good laugh, just stagger on over to the nearest red or white wine digital community of your choice and you’re bound to receive a chuckle or two.

Warning: Some funny wine quotes are so hysterical that you might be in danger of snorting wine through your nose. Gross, I know. However, you’ve been forewarned.

 

Only my wine sisters understand …

The answer: A LOT!

Stop your whining, and do more wining.

Exercising can be dangerous. Can’t take the chance of spilling.

Wine and chocolate go together like peanut butter and jelly … only a million times BETTER!

All the world problems would end if politicians would have peace talks with a little (or a lot of) wine.

Oh, the horror!!!!

One in every two marriages end in divorce. Marriage counselors are expensive. Drink wine. It’ll make your spouse look better.

If you insist…

Wine, life, and wife all end in “e.” Coincidence? I think not.

Fact: wine is gluten free and vegetarian. Grapes are fruit. So, it’s healthy!

If wine trees existed, I would become a tree hugger.

Shhh!!! Don’t want to disturb the fermenting wine magic.

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I love tax day. Said no one ever.. Now start pouring!!!

I’m counting my carbs and running 20 miles everyday. Who am I kidding? I’m on the chocolate and wine diet.

God Bless ‘Merica.

I’m a poet, and I didn’t even know it… until 3 glasses ago.

 

Ahhh… that first sip of wine.

Wine makes you live longer. Just ask the really smart scientists in white lab coats from Harvard. If they disagree, send Harvard a case of wine STAT!

That’s one way to keep your bottle fresh.

Don’t roll the dice. Stay well stocked.

They still don’t keep me in focus.

Lemonade stands are not nearly as good as wine stands… just saying.

When Uncle Sam is your favorite uncle…

He’s always a fine fellow when wine makes you mellow.

The real question is: How many calories can you burn by walking from wine bar to wine bar?

It’s wine o’clock.

Seek and ye shall find.

The answer: yes
But, who’s counting?

It’s my favorite time of the day.

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Aren’t these funny wine quotes hilarious?! My goal is to continue adding to this list. Be sure to come back and check out the new ones.

For Some Serious Wine Business:

Here are my top wine blog posts: Organic Wines under $10 and Pairing Clos Du Bois Wines with Mexican Cheeses.

Next time you’re at a wine party or having dinner with the spouse, share a few of these funny wine quotes. They’re sure to make you the life of the party or at least be a good conversation starter. Happy Wining!

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